Freedom Trail Pro Tips: WHERE ARE THE BATHROOMS?

People have got to go! There is no more pressing issue on Boston's historic Freedom Trail than the need to pee. I'm here to help. Below is every bathroom stop I know of. I'll make sure to clarify what is a public bathroom and what is a "private bathroom" that you can use.

Visitor Information Center on Boston Common

Boston Common (public bathrooms): The obvious bathroom stop is the Visitor Information Center on Boston Common, though truth be told, they have very small bathrooms that are often overrun by school groups, the homeless, and other visitors. The pros go to the Frog Pond bathrooms. They are also small, but less known, so they are also usually less gross and less full.

Boston Athenaeum (private bathrooms): This is located at 10 1/2 Beacon St., just around the corner from the Boston Common, and also close to the side entrance of the Granary Burying Ground. The first floor of the Athenaeum is open to the public, though you do have to sign in. There is a bathroom on the first floor. You see where I'm going with this?

Omni Parker House Hotel (private bathrooms): As a general rule, hotels are good for a bathroom break. The Parker House is tops, though. They have two bars and a restaurant on the first floor, and are the oldest hotel in America, so they are more accommodating than most to walk-ins. Their bathrooms are on the "mezzanine level," which is essentially the second floor. When you get to the top of the stairs, boys go right, girls go left. This hotel is located at the corner of Tremont and School, near the Granary Burying Ground and across from King's Chapel.



Corner Mall (very accessible private bathrooms): A bit off the trail, this is a short walk from Boston Common and is literally the middle of Downtown Crossing at the Washington and Winter intersection. The bathrooms are in the food court's basement level. Signs say "for patrons only," but just walk in like you own the place. You'll be fine.

Old South Meeting House (private bathrooms, not a sure bet): This actually is a site! Located on Washington St., it costs a few bucks to visit (which you should do), though in a pinch, if you go into their basement gift shop (which is accessible without a ticket to the museum) and ask really nicely, the staff there will usually give you a break and let you use the potty. This is doubly effective if you have a child.

Faneuil Hall Marketplace (public bathrooms): This is the motherlode of public bathrooms, and requires a bit of instruction. The two most commonly frequented bathrooms at Faneuil Hall Marketplace are the bathrooms in the basement of the NPS visitor center in Faneuil Hall and the bathrooms in the basement of Quincy Market. Both of these will usually serve you well, but in July and August, when FHM is a zoo, there are often lines, particularly in Quincy Market.
Herein lies the pro-est of pro tips - The second floor of Faneuil Hall also has bathrooms, and they are rarely utilized. Go there. They are great and they are clean. You might see two other people. It is glorious. Additionally, in North Market, on the right side of Newbury Comics, on the second floor, there is another set of bathrooms. They are usually filthy, but they are also usually pretty empty. These are the two most glorious Boston tips I can bestow upon you.
At the back of Quincy Market, Ames Plow (a tavern) also has their own private bathrooms. If you just walk in like you own the place, they're on the north side of the bar. You should also have a drink here. Fred, the manager, is a swell fellow.

And then there's the rest of the Trail.

This is when things get bad. Seriously. It's not like there are many secrets. It's just bad in the North End. I'll do what I can.

Bars of the Blackstone Block (private bathrooms): Bars like The Point, The Green Dragon, Bell in Hand, and Union Oyster House all have bathrooms. If you walk in with confidence or with the most sympathetic face in the world, you'll get a shot at a toilet. That said, when you're in the Blackstone Block, a rock's throw from Faneuil Hall, you're usually better off just going to Faneuil Hall.

On Hanover St. (private bathrooms, may require some serious begging): There are no public bathrooms on Hanover St. None. At all. But. BUT. If you go to Caffe Paradiso and take a hard right AS SOON AS YOU WALK IN, and then go down some stairs, there's a bathroom down there. They won't be happy with you, but it's there in a pinch. You might also try Improv Asylum. Ask the person at the box office really nicely. They might let you use their very nice bathroom. Additionally, go to a show at Improv Asylum. They are the best show in Boston. Even if it's House Teams, it's like $5, and you'll see at least 20 minutes of great.

Old North Church (public bathrooms): Let's be honest, if you're on the Freedom Trail, you're probably going here. They deserve a lot of credit for their bathroom. There was a public bathroom near them, but it was closed due to lack of funding, so ONC opened up a bathroom right behind their gift shop that is totally open to the public. They ask for a $1 donation for using it, but there is nobody there to enforce it. The lack of enforcement prompted me to give them $5. I encourage visitors to do the same.

Then, there's a wasteland for a while.... Then Charlestown.

Charlestown is easy. There are bathrooms at the National Park Service Stations at both the Charlestown Navy Yard and Bunker Hill Monument. There are also really clean bathrooms at the USS Constitution Museum in the Navy Yard. This site is independently operated and asks a donation to go in. You are not required to pay, but you should, because they are great. After you pee, check the museum out. It's really wonderful.

So that's my list of bathrooms. Do you have any I missed? Let me know in the comments section!